Spoons
by Ms. Donovan and Ms. Midnight
Summary: One of the weirdest SLASH pairings ever. Read if you want to be entertained! Read if you want to be frightened! Read if you want to be disclaimed! It's all here! The search for Trigon ends. Eye gouging is attempted.


**Disclaimers (the many):**

**1. Neither Miss Midnight nor Miss Donovan own the Teen Titans, though their are some odd theories about Miss Donovan's relations to the character Raven. **

**2. Neither Miss Midnight nor Miss Donovan object in any way, shape or form to gay marriage and/or gay unions. But really, the pairing in this is just...weird. If you are offended by the references as to how weird this story's slash pairing is, please know that neither of the authors purposely tried to offend you or anyone else.**

**3. No plants were harmed or eyes gouged in the making of this fanfiction.**

**4. This fanfiction many result in spontaneous combustion and terminal weirdness or giggling. The authors cannot be held accountable.**

**5. Miss Midnight and Miss Kali Donovan wrote this story together while high on oxygen and ice cubes (don't ask), but the fear was that if Miss Donovan posted it, she would be burned at the stake. Miss Midnight, having no apparent good reputation, volunteered to post it, so that Miss Donovan's fine, upstanding rep would remain unharmed. All flames should be therefore directed at Miss Midnight, as she is mainly responsible. **

**Here it is! Enjoy!**

Robin hated to admit it, but he needed Slade's help. Trigon had simply vanished; poof. Slade, being Trigon's confident, ought to know where he had gone. The Titans were willing to spend any sum of money for information, Raven especially.

He still didn't wan to knock on the white-washed door. The five teenagers stood on a nice patio, lived with potted plants. Very inconspicuous.

"Robin, the door won't knock itself. We need this info," Cyborg said as he rapped and opened the door.

Starfire asked Raven how a door could knock on itself. Raven ignored.

Beast Boy and Starfire gasped at the scene inside the house. Cyborg and Robin stared in horror. Raven "accidentally" exploded the flowerpots outside (none of the plants were harmed, except for the marigolds; explanations below¹.)

Slade stood in a pastel yellow bathrobe, his mask on crooked, holding a cup of coffee. And in the back of the room, Trigon was wearing a blue robe. Raven recovered from shock quickly.

"Dad. Explain," she growled through tightly closed teeth, her eyes darting between her father and her nemesis.

Trigon's face visibly marrooned². "Well, Raven, Slade and I…we realized…"

Robin and Beast Boy raised their hands. Beast Boy spoke first.

"I think I speak for the two of us when I ask, can we have a pair of spoons to gouge our eyes out?"

"If it's not too much trouble," Robin added. Slade's eye narrowed (cue manga sweat drop).

"This is my father you're talking about," Raven almost-exclaimed. She turned to the demon. "So this is why you left Mom?"

Cyborg interrupted Trigon. "What's up with the rings?" Slade had a golden band on his left hand, and Trigon had a matching one, along with something that looked suspiciously like an engagement ring.

"Well, this is what I wanted to tell you all those years ago, Raven."

"You mean when you tried to destroy the world²?"

"Yes."

Robin, unable to take any more weird, screamed long and loud and shrill, and ran far away.

"Please, I do not comprehend. Is it not true that the politicians in this state mandate that a marriage is between a man and a woman?"

"The beauty of Massachusetts…" Slade said in explanation.

The Titans slowly backed out, and when they were out of earshot, ran screaming, when hoping for spoons when they got back to the Tower.

"Darling, your daughter has the strangest friends; and the pity is that she is such a nice girl."

"Yes, I know, honey. I tried the kill them, but they thwarted me, as you well know. They're a terrible influence on her, ruining the vibrant spark of evil in her."

"I am sorry about that, dear. Why don't we see what we can do about your flowerpots?"

Epilogue:

"Not the marigolds!"

**Okay, you deserve an explanation(s). Here they are:**

**¹ Miss Midnight and Miss Donovan do not like marigolds and neither does Raven. Hence their death.**

**² This takes place a few years after "The End". Trigon, obviously, was not killed.**

**This was an experiment. If you don't review, we'll write more of these things! Cheers!**

**Until next time: this is Semine and Kali, signing off! **


End file.
